she moves she

Oh the things you can find when you’re bored.

Dear David Wain,

I saw your new movie The Ten on Tuesday night. I sneaked in a teeny bottle of wine to celebrate. I’ve been waiting for a new DW movie ever since Wet Hot American Summer but despite my excitement I was scared that I might not like the new movie; what if my expectations were too high? But…you totally proved those fears wrong. Ten minutes into the film I was laughing hysterically, not a fake, courtesy laugh but like from my gut…the real deal. Like that show Let’s Make a Deal, I’ve never watched it before but I’d make a deal with you. I’m pretty good at dealing. Cards not drugs. I don’t do drugs. Something about acid making your brain bleed really bothers me. One of my friends told me that he got a phone call from Jesus while he was high, apparently Jesus wanted some X. Speaking of X, my favorite part of The Ten was the Thou-shalt-not-take-the-Lord’s-name-in-vain story. Very Y Tu Mama Tambien you know, very Some Like It Hot on a cold night.

I love how you cast a lot of big names (Liev Shrieber, Winona Ryder, Paul Rudd!) and various members of The State (Joe Lo Truglio, Kerry Kenny, Tom Lennon). Good call on only giving Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter cameos, you know me, I love Mikey Show and Black as much as Jim Stansil, but I didn’t want it to be a Stella-fest for obvious reasons. It’s just like you said in that famous Stella sketch Caroling: “I want to come all over your belly.”

I have to confess David, I totally crapped out on you. I flaked. After Stella went off the air and you sort of disappeared, I forgot about you. I went on a my own epic journey of soul recognition, finding my own “new way” without any help from Christopher Meloni. It was rough David but I made it through. And here we are again. You makin’ movies and me…watchin’ those movies. You still get me all goosebumpy and faint with laughter.

Good work David. You are da bomb.

Yours forever,

Lauren

Watch clips and a Daivd Wain interview beloooooowwww.

One day, soon after the Buddha’s enlightenment, a man saw the Buddha walk toward him. The man had not heard of the Buddha, but he could see that there was something different about the man who was approaching, so he was moved ask, ‘Are you a god?’

The Buddha answered, ‘No.’

‘You’re a magician, then? A sorcerer? A wizard?’

‘No.’

‘Are you some kind of celestial being? An angel, perhaps?’

Again the Buddha said, ‘No.’

‘Well, then, what are you?’

The Buddha replied, ‘I am awake.’

The final days of this Chicago summer have brought along a deathly humidity kneaded with the silent acknowledgment that our days of flip flops and tank tops are nearly over. The bittersweetness of another ending summer takes the edge off of the sticky air.

While shopping for pens and planners today amidst other frenzied shoppers, I realized that my final back-to-school September is approaching. New notebooks, pens, uncracked book-spines, the smell of falling leaves mixed with fresh pages and post-summer glows…only three weeks away. The transition of September into October has always been a favorite of mine, not because of my birthday but because somewhere in between those months comes the moment when fall takes over completely, Indian summer ends and an entirely new season begins. And beginnings mean that anything is possible. I am excited for beginnings.

One of the things I love about Chicago is its seasons. In the South the distinctions between seasons is so muted that you barely know if it’s winter or fall, spring or summer. My first year in Chicago I walked by this one park bench everyday and remember feeling comforted by the fact that I got to see it at the peak of every season. Surrounded by flowers in Spring, blooming trees in Summer, falling leaves and dead grass in Fall, covered with snow in Winter. I think it was its consistency amid change that was so romantic to me.

Only a minute more of these long days and already I’m looking forward to the first breeze when I feel the summer reclining.

Mamaw:  I can see okay out of the sides of my eyes so I’m ok to drive.

Lauren:  What about your knees?  Are they still giving you trouble?

Mamaw:  (blank stare) Mmmm???

Lauren:  How are your KNEES?

Mamaw:  What Lauren?

Lauren:  Knees!  Your KNEES.  Are they still hurting you?

Mamaw:  (looks to stepdad for assistance) What?  (looks back at me) What?

Lauren:  Knees!  Knees!  (pointing to my own knees)

Mamaw:  I still can’t hear you.

Lauren:  You’re old!

Mamaw: I know it.

Lauren: (buries head in couch pillow)

Voilà

I never thought I could be a workaholic but that’s all I’ve been doing for the last week.  Literally all day and night nothing but Spry.  Fortunately, that includes lots of wine drinking, picture taking and writing. (One of these grueling work sessions involved chocolate fondue and body painting–gold breasts, blue stomachs.) I feel absolutely excited and absolutely exhausted, this might very well be the best thing I’ve ever done.  And it’s only the beginning.

Starting tomorrow I’ll no longer have a link to this page from the spry site so if you can’t live without my blog you should probably bookmark it or tattoo it on the top of your foot. Also starting tomorrow I am Bama bound for a few days.  I can’t wait to see my mother and give my brother a hard time for getting into a fight with a bouncer and almost losing his ear.  Summer has been a magnificent blur, I hope to draw out the southern days with lots of back-porch reading and open-windowed drives.

Spry launches tonight at midnight.  I can’t wait for everyone to see what me and my expert spryers have been up to.

Just when you thought you had too many t-shirts. 

 ”A siesta is a short nap taken in the early afternoon, often after the midday meal. Such a period of sleep is a common tradition in hot countries. The word siesta is Spanish, from the Latin hora sexta – “the sixth hour” (counting from dawn, therefore noon, hence “midday rest”).

In recent years, studies have suggested a biological need for afternoon naps. The body is on a 24-hour body clock, which makes you wind down between 1 a.m. and 6 a.m. and again in the three hours directly after lunch. Siestas are traditionally no longer than 30 minutes and are more of a light rest than any kind of serious sleep.  The original concept of a siesta was merely that of a midday break. This break was intended to allow people time to be spent with their friends and family.

Afternoon sleep is also a common habit in China and Taiwan. This is called xiuxi or wushui in Chinese. Its main difference from the siesta is that it lasts between two and three hours. It occurs after the midday meal and is even a constitutional right (article 43, Right to rest). Almost all schools in Mainland China and Taiwan have a half-hour ‘”nap period’” right after lunch. This is a time when all lights are out and one is not allowed to do anything else than sleep.”