she moves she

Lying In Bed One Evening as a Child

Pantoum

You were my father briefly.

In hindsight—as clear as sunlight—

on a Wednesday in September…

I heard you leaving the night before.

In hindsight—as clear as sunlight—

I distinctly remember…

I heard you leaving the night before.

…the thud of the door, heels clicking.

I distinctly remember.

An argument in the kitchen—then

the thud of the door, heels clicking.

I thought you might be crying.

An argument in the kitchen, then

that ghastly, awful silence.

I thought you might be crying.

Did you look in to see me sleeping?

That ghastly, awful silence!

I hate it still today.

Did you look in to see me sleeping

before you slipped away?

I hate it still today—

the thought of that night.

Before you slipped away

you were my father briefly.