she moves she

I have to take a moment to plug some things that have recently knocked my socks off.

Did you know that if you’re a Netflix member you can now watch a ton of stuff online?  Don’t worry about mailing anything or waiting a couple days to watch a movie…now you can just immediately watch whatever you want to watch (the content is limited but they’re adding more constantly).  The picture is HD quality and freezeless via a new program called Microsoft Silverlining. Also there are no commercials, which boggles my mind!  How are studios, actors, directors, etc. making money?  Because of this…I do not think this will last very long without some sort of extra fee.   The only thing is that the convenience can create something I’ve deemed the “Life Vacuum.”  Like many modern day conveniences we are tempted to overindulge.  When the sea of possibilities is rich with pretty things it’s hard to take them in moderation.  Watching the entire second season of 30 Rock or Arrested Development has never been easier or more tempting.  Be careful not to fall into the Life Vacuum.  You’ll wake up in a sea of listless drool, missing your frontal lobe.

Flight of the Conchords’ new season debuts this Sunday on HBO.  There was a great segment on NPR this morning that gave a two minute preview of one of the season’s plotlines.  Jermaine becomes a Gigalo and Bret composes a Jamaicany-Roxanne-Red-Light-esque song to convince him that he doesn’t have to be a male whore.  I cannot wait.

Also on NPR is a new little thing called All Tech Considered, part of the famous All Things Considered. I cannot get enough of this for some reason.  I don’t even like technology that much.  Maybe it’s Omar Gallaga’s sexy croon.

An phenomenal way to manage your finances totally for free…Mint.com.  Import your bank and credit card information and it tracks everything you spend.  It sends you payment reminders (Dear Lauren, Credit card bills aren’t fun but neither are late fees.  You’re Visa bill is due in five days.  Cheers, Mint.com), it creates pie charts, and keeps you accountable for whatever budget you set up.  For a person who has as much financial cents as a kiwi, this has changed the way I think about my moolah.

This rocked my world but I haven’t even gotten to do it yet!  Next thing I know, I’ll be hanging from my living room ceiling.

Finally,  the best You Tube video I’ve ever seen.  If you don’t watch this you will be doing yourself an injustice.

During a mini wine fest tonight my mind wandered towards a combination of words I’d seen earlier in the day: “Emotional healing.” About a year and some change ago I heard Ira Glass say “…we depended on each other for our emotional needs.” I’d never thought about emotional needs nor had I ever considered the existence of emotional needs. I learned through a bit of professional psycho analysis that the reason the idea had never entered into my paradigm was because I did not value my emotions. So, of course, I never recognized the fact that I needed anything emotionally. Though once that thought sunk in…my world began to shift shapes and my relationship with myself took on an entirely different meaning.

When I stumbled upon the words “emotional healing” today, another paradigm shift came into focus. Only, I’d already had the epiphany…I just didn’t remember it.

I was sitting in Grant Park in Chicago writing in my journal. My arm was healing from a break–the result of an unsuccessful attempt at crossing a street. Everyone had been incessantly asking me “how’s your arm?” I don’t know exactly what happened next or why these two thoughts crossed paths but I began to think about how a few months prior I’d broken my heart. Everyone was very concerned about my arm…but no one (even myself) was concerned about the broken heart. No one ever asked. I never asked. So I was surprised when I internally asked myself the question I’d never been asked before…”how’s your heart?” And only when I really stopped to think about it did I realize that it was in fact…still in a sling.

So. Emotional Healing. Isn’t it just as important as Physical Healing? We break a bone and we give it our undivided attention. Go to the emergency room. X-rays. Pain meds. Cast/Sling. Rest. Disuse. Weeks of physical therapy.

Yet when our emotions are significantly damaged when do nothing of the sort. We may give ourselves a few days of bed rest (Simon & Garfunkel, three gallons of red wine, eighteen hot baths) but then we get up and go like nothing ever happened. No emergency rooms. No x-rays. No pain meds, slings, rest, disuse or physical therapy. It’s as if our emotions are shameful. Recover as quick as you can. Seamlessly.

Really though, we are our emotions. Look at how we behaved when we were children. Do you remember how we were all so driven by our emotions? Falling down, Mama leaving, Brother stealing our favorite toy…these were passionate injustices and we cried till our faces were red and we needed new diapers!

We get older and we learn to control them but it doesn’t mean our emotions just go away. They are everpresent. We are emotional creatures. We live by these things even if we don’t know it.

So… I’m very glad for these broken things…because now, at least, I know something more.

Epilogue: Both breaks still ache when it’s about to rain.